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A mummy-hand holding, (former) biker gang affiliating, hippie influenced semi crunchy granola mom's ramblings and reminisings on an off-kilter life

Monday, June 11, 2012

Why I collect unemployment while b!tching about lazy slobs on welfare

Why I collect unemployment while b!tching about lazy slobs on welfare

I often complain about those with entitlement issues, feeling they deserve MY tax money to get them their EBT to buy filet mignon and eclairs while I'm debating the ethics and financial implications of the can't afford it organic chicken or the freak by (not nature) gmo crap...humbly shopping at Walmart...etc. (Ok it could be worse but I digress.)

But yet I collect unemployment. Freakin hypocrite!

But I say no, naysayers, no.

1. I read an article about many jobs hiring only those employed. WTF? I encountered this first hand Monday and was literally told "sorry, we can't proceed w/your application, we only hire those currently employed". WTF? Since I can' t find a job (ok I find jobs, but not interviews or offers) I have the option of...

a: becoming a hobo. I've heard the "spare some change, lemme wash your car window" side of the offramp dudes can rake in 30k a year. No joke! Well, as long as they don't get arrested for panhandling.
b: collecting unemployment

Let's face it, given the pic above, I suck a$$ at cleaning windows (more streaks and blurriness than when I began!) and jail would not cater to my gluten free needs...although the communal toilet shared with my "roommate", after all that gluten, would ensure I got my own room. Prison score! But not my forte. So plan B it is.

2. I had a son in December and did a whopping 4 weeks maternity leave; was legally allowed six. 6 weeks, not even full pay. WTF?!?! If I lived elsewhere I'd have longer maternity leave. Some places offer a year so I'd still be "employed" because you can't lay off someone on maternity leave, and I'd feel less guilty about unemployment. But because I don't like in freaking ALBANIA, BULGARIA, LITHANIA, NORWAY (Hey it's a top notch nation!), SLOVENIA, SWEDEN (hey another top of the lister).... I am merely collecting (half my measly) pay for a year which I deserve and would get (in fact, I'd get all my measly pay) if I were living in a stone shack in Albania, herding goats.
Seriously, AFGHANISTAN gives women more maternity leave. AFGHANISTAN, you know, that stones women to death for talking to a man or showing an ankle? Yeah. Even Iraq does better, and pleasant Iran offers 6 months, full-pay. Heck even war torn Sudan, you know, "save Darfur", gives 17% more pay and two more weeks off than my neck of the woods. But since I am Christian, half blind (bad for war torn nation survival), like to eat meat and well, food, and prefer electricity, I am NOT going to Darfur or Afghanistan to be a mother. So, unemployment it is until my backwards country gets it straight.

3. I paid some money into social security before I taught, and I do not ever see a penny of it due to some pension policy (that is, if the pension I paid half for is even there in 30 years....) so I figure I'm just getting back the money I paid in, early.

4. I pay a butt load in taxes. So aren't I just paying myself back?

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