Monday, June 25, 2012
So I must profile the typical Illinois and Indiana driver. They all smoke especially Indiana and so you smell cigarettes when you instead prefer fresh air, windows down. But I guess LA has smog so they are equal. Indiana drivers are bipolar. It seems they drive 90 or 20...plodding down the road at a snail's pace, a long string of cars behind them, acting lost in their own small county(I know, their plates depict county of residence) mouths agape, again, going slower than semi trucks, busses, streetsweepers, on the freeway, in the fast lane. The others drive 90, Journey probably blasting, mullets shaking to the beat as they speed around you, missing you by inches, emulating their own trashy version of Indy 500 at rush hour. And yet if you are a bit lost, dazed and confused, or stuck in traffic, all hell breaks lose, they don't know how to deal with traffic, and speed along the median, or ride your tail honking furiously, swerving past a police car stopped to investigate an accident, mising the patrol car by a millimeter. Literally two miles away is Illinois so you get a far share of them on the road. I thought, hey, they are fine drivers, until today when I ventured into Chi-Town at rush hour. Suddenky the prim and proper obedient midwesterners got all mideaval and rowr, would attack. There might be room for a smart car between you and the guy in front, and the complacent Illinois dude in a F-150 in the lane beside you realizes like that! Lickety split! HE NEEDS to be in front of you NOW and merges with a violent jerking, throwing off the space time continuum, to fit in a space only his front tire could occupy. All without logic, knowledge of basic physics, courtesy, or a blinker/ turn signal. Then, the tolls and road quality. Ok Illinois has better roads than Cali but not by much. In Chicago, they have tolls which go towards road maintenance, which is always going on, everyehere, with special thanks to ARRA, thanks Obama, in gasp his hometown. But the roads never actually seem to be improved upon. And yet there is a toll every 5 mi utes, demanding $1.10 to over $3.00. Every few miles. I spent more on tolls than gas, in a Jeep Cherokee, you know, gas guzzler. And the toll charge isn't announced in a timely fashion like California but RIGHT before the toll. So as you find your proper toll lane, while driving, you must dig for exact change at a moment's notice. And then, some tolls are manned so you can break a $20 bill or, if outf moneh, get a bill sent toyou and on your merry way. Then others are not manned and don't give change so you must hzve it exactly...and what happens if you don't have enough? Unmanned, you can't ask to be sent a bill, so do you just sit there, all alone, collecting linesof angry motorists before someone has pity and walks up to pay your charge? Or do they get pissed and just shoot you? So, alas, I kinda prefer LA freeways...few and predictable tolls, and predictable drivers. Sure we don't have the best drivers, but stereotypes originate somewhere and that is California. See a rice rocket souped uo honda full of teens? They will race past you, almost hitting you, with no regard to the law. See a pastel camry with "Ayden, Taylor, Jaxson and Astelin's meemaw" bumper sticker? She will petrify from lack of movement within the next mile. So in Cali, you know what to expect in every driving experience.