disclaimer or something

A mummy-hand holding, (former) biker gang affiliating, hippie influenced semi crunchy granola mom's ramblings and reminisings on an off-kilter life

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Irish cream

I have a love-hate with Irish Cream. It is like drinking velvet, and yet, like drinking paint thinner.

My first taste of liquor as at about age eight. My uncle had a trailer and invited me inside; this sounds like some creepy trailer trash "I got candy little girl" situation but I assure you it wasn't. He had a motorhome parked at my grandma's house which he used for hunting game. Anyways, I always loved to play in the motorhome because it was like the ultimate play fort, so I went inside and went into the fridge to get a soda. My family doesn't drink soda, so an ice cold Pepsi was a special treat. He then grabbed a glass and said, "hey, want a sip of Irish Cream? Just a teeny sip?"

I was lactose intolerant, something I didn't quite realize meant "milk hurts your innards" and instead thought of it as "my mean parents won't let me have milk". So when my uncle offered Irish cream, naive me thought, hey Irish cream must be some extra special kind of milk and my parents will never know! I was all excited that I'd get to drink milk, so I put the bottle to my mouth and took a huge gulp.

Ahh the cooling coating tastiness of, what the heck? This "Irish cream" stuff began to burn my throat and I rushed to the sink to spit it out. "I think your milk went bad" I cried, as my uncle broke out into fits of laughter. He explained it was not milk but alcohol and that was why I was supposed to have the tiniest sip. I recall telling him that they shouldn't trick people by naming it after some kind of foreign milk.

And so, even to this day I get a little twinge whenever I have Irish cream.

1 comment:

  1. Your uncle sounds like my brother giving my daughter beer when she was still in a stroller telling me that he "just wanted to see if she would like it..." Good grief! I do not like Irish Cream at all because of some idiot bartender who decided to conjure up his own recipe for a White Russian and use that instead of heavy cream. ICK!!!!!!!!! (Although, I don't even like heavy cream anymore. Seriously, you can wave the heavy cream over the top of the glass and that's fine with me. Then again, I think that's then just called a Black Russian, but I digress).

    Funny story minus your milk intolerance! :|