disclaimer or something

A mummy-hand holding, (former) biker gang affiliating, hippie influenced semi crunchy granola mom's ramblings and reminisings on an off-kilter life

Monday, November 12, 2012

A what's it thingymajig called a liebster because I am awesome and wonit!

I won a liebster award!!! (Thank you a ton, Angela at
http://notappropriate4.blogspot.com/?m=1. Visit her blog she is awesome).

What is a liebster?
Well first, it is German for favorite and other happy words that make me think of rainbows and unicorns and good wine and laughing. Okay, it is an award supposedly from Germany that is part chain letter (without the pyramid scheme gimmick or bad luck for 13 years or a million dollars from Ghana. You don't even get a jelly of the month.) it exists solely to give brownie points of recognition for nifty, snazzy, awesome bloggers with less than 200 followers.

Isn't that cool? It's like the Emmys or whatever but for less heard-of bloggers.

If you get nominated, you write a blog about liebster, explaining it and stuff.

So, here are the rules to this thing;

Oh and add the liebster image to your liebster blog please. You can copy mine.

1. Each recipient must post 11 random facts about themselves.

2. Each recipient must answer the 11 questions the awarder has given to you, the awardee.

3. You, now the awarder, create 11 questions for your nominees, who are now the awardees.

4. Choose 11 awardees, link to their website, and notify them.

5. No award-backs.

The 11 awardees, don't stress maybe? Sort of? Cause maybe you don't have 11 blogs you love, so I am making my own rule, get as close to 11 as you can.

So here it is...

My 11 facts

1. I was named after a biker b1tch. True story. My dad knew some "old lady" with what became my name. And at the ripe age of 6 I rode on the back of a Harley in an actual motorcycle gang and had my "colors", a pink paisley bandanna that complimented my pink sweat pants and bare feet quite well. All I needed was a candy cigarette, self-drawn magic marker tattoo (or those smelly markers!) and some curse words under my belt and I'd be set.

2. I beat up boys in 6th grade. I may have weighed 66 lbs and been the shortest in my grade, but I was mean. I was tired of bullies and was insecure and white trash and got slack for being the teacher's pet. So I would pick up bratty boys by their shirt collar and hold them over the playground curb and threaten to kick them in their boy parts.

3. I touched a real mummy's hand. And didn't even get some freaky ancient mummy's curse disease. Cough cough I'm fine. I worked in the sociology/anthropology dept in college and got to archive some stuff, including a mummy's hand my professor had got on some archaeological dig in Egypt.

4. I believe in bigfoot. Most of my friends and family laugh at me. Laugh away people. That sh1t is real. I saw a very large bare foot print in the snow by our house, and who the hell would be in our yard barefoot in the snow? With feet muuuuch larger than my husband's size 11s? And we both have heard monkey like sounds and the "whoops" that the "Sierra" bigfoot makes...google Sierra Bigfoot Calls. Be scared. My dog will refuse to go out some nights and we tease him that Biggy (Bigfoot) is out there. But we have heard whoops on two of his comatose nights.

5. I am ashamed of my college years and don"t "go there" much in my writing. It was a dark dark time full of bad boyfriends, bad friends, certain bottled spirits, shame, and major clinical depression. That's all you're getting from me. I've put the past behind me in that case.

6. I've eaten crab brains and horse tongue before. I was in Japan (I love to travel) and decided to ask what I ate AFTER eating it. I also had eel cookies and canied shrimp there.

7. As a child we had weird pets. To name a few off the top of my hand, peacocks, an alligator, fox, coyote, wolf, goat ( okay not too weird but my parents bought it for the milk. Then found out it was a boy goat.) skunk, owl (I think...I was very young), snakes....

8. I am rather blind. My "good" eye is 20/350 and bad eye 20/1000 or something. I can't read the damned vision chart with my eyes, unaided. I hated the way doctors would be all, "can you see it now? What line can you read? How about now?" as a kid when I felt like saying, "you sadistic arsehole I can't see crap. Ever. Bite me." So, to alleviate my torture and yet un-purposely screw myself over, I read the chart with my glasses on and memorized the first few lines. A miracle! My vision had improved! (But, yeah it hadn't so I was still really blind.) Now, they measure my bad eye with fingers. You know, the old joke, "oh huh huh huh you're blind? huh huh huh how many fingers am I holding, duhhhh"? Yeah. That's how they measure my bad eye. And my good eye was once not 20/350 but much better and it failed when I was a teen. I fear total blindness but just shove that fear deeo down inside where it won't bother me..

9. I didn't learn to swim until I was 12. I still only doggy paddle because I get too uncoordinated and end up swimming in acircle, breathing in water, and funneling water into my very sensitive ears if I don't doggy paddle. I also didn't learn to ride a bike till I was 12. I live/grew up near 4 ski resorts and have never been skiing and have never wanted to go. I did try snowboarding in my driveway twice, to impress the cute family friend who boarded. After wiping out after like an inch, for two days straight. I realized I was a fool and not worthy of the hot guy and decided instead to spend my time building board jumps for him instead.

10. I am not a picky eater per se but get pinned as one. I don't like mayonnaise, plain yellow mustard, ketchup, cold cuts, or most cheeses. Think about it...the typical American diet...I am kinda screwed as those are in everything. Add in my MSG allergy and I'm extra screwed

11. I am a total introvert, like their poster child. And I'm a "highly sensitive" person. I doubt myself a lot and put my feet down and don't budge, screwing myself over in the process. I can get in dark moods too. But aren't all bloggers, as a generalization, something like me?

Here are the 11 questions I am kindly answering because Angela nominated me and wants to know this stuff, and I am lame and love questions. I loved "truth" in truth and dare so this is like "truth"! Except minus crushes, zits, hating your parents, and all that crap.

1. As I love books, you probably could have predicted this one, what’s your favorite book and why?
One? Sorry can't pick one, how about four? Grapes Of Wrath. Sue it is long but Steinbeck rocks because he was basically punk rock. He said, screw the stuffy academic banal tone of Little Women, Scarlett Letter, and all the other books from AP English in high school; let's be for real, folks. Or maybe the people in GOWN are weird and remind me of my oddball family. Or maybe I love the social commentary, historical connection, connections to life, and all that. I could go in but there's three more to go.
I love Wild Sheep Chase by Haryki Murakami. Really, I love all his books. It is magical realism at its finest. No fairies or dragons or nerds living in mom's basement, just a surreal twist in reality that makes you ask, what if?
I love Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson aka the Bloggess at http://thebloggess.com/. Google her work please, you will love her. If we were both dudes, I'd have a secret bromance with her. Her childhood was eerily similar to mine and her wacky perspective is...familiar. Seriously, I want to meet her some day and craft this b1tch up by making outfits for her taxidermy creatures, while drinking wine. But I want to say, also read stuff by Laurie Notaro, Sara Benincasa, and Jenn Lancaster as they all make me laugh and feel normal.
I had a 4th book but I forgot what it was. Oh! The Underground History of American Education I won't bore you because my "why" is a book in itself. It answered my "why" questions of why I love learning but hate school.

2. What other bloggers (if any) do you currently follow? Please leave links.
A lot. I will copy paste them when I am off my iPhone.

3. What are three reasons that you think my blog is super fucking awesome (because of course you do)?
I "get" you. You make me laugh. I would hang out with you in real life. Those seem like dumb answers but they are simple, honest and true.

4. Do you believe in love at first sight? If so, would you also be willing to admit that you are highly delusional?
No I don't. Love, yes. First sight, it's lust or booze or something.

5. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would spend your money on?
Hmmm well I'd love to pay off my bills and student loans. And then for fun is buy hubby a sports car. And a trip to Europe or something. I'd give to charity too.

6. Have you ever had a cool celebrity encounter? Please describe.
Kinda. I have a pic of myself at about age 6 with Dan Haggerty, aka Grizzly Bear Adams. Well, I think so, I remember it was with someone famous and it sure looks like Dan Haggerty. Then I have been stuck behind Richard Dreyfuss, he drives way too slow and I end up yelling at him. I saw Priscilla Presley grocery shopping.

7. Okay: What’s your porn star name? – Name of First Pet + The Road You Grew Up On =
Well if you count first pet I remember, Moonshine Citycreek. It's my hillbilly porn name. The first pet I considered my own, and named on my own, changes my first name to Muffin.

8. List three to five songs that have been in heavy rotation on your (iPod/CD player/cassette tape) lately.
Any song by Disturbed. Not my style but great for pushing through on a run or weight lifting, or after a very bad day at work.
The The, Armageddon Days. It's just awesome and apocalyptic and empowering and I like to listen to it to conquer things.
Les Artistes by Santigold. I love all her music, it's upbeat an cool and it is just a song I always turn up.
Death Valley Queen by Flogging Molly. Really any of their songs because they are awesome and energizing and melodic. My Irish roots feel tickled pink.
Dido -Thank you. A calm song, like my calm happy place but in a dog. Total chill out music. She is a vocal goddess.

9. Do you believe in miracles?
..you sexy thing.... (It's a song). Yeah I do but I'm a skeptic. Like the TAPs team on the ghost hunting show, I am a skeptical believer.

10. If I sent you my address, would you please mail me a pair of underwear to make up for those disappointing chain letters?
I would. But you need an 11th question first ;-)

My 11 questions to the bloggers I chose for the award (but really, anyone can answer)

1. What 3-5 famous people would you like to meet, and why?

2. What stupid things bug you/are your pet peeves? Things that others think you need to get over?

3. If you were forced, in some Frankenstein type thing, to painlessly attach one body part -keeping it functional- somewhere else on your body (or face death and damnation)
What would it be and where would you put It? Why?

4. What is some pop culture reference or activity that completely baffles you?

5. What if God exists, but he is different to each religion- same God, but just is in a one man play where he/she plays Buddha, Mohammad, etc? Ever thought if that? It would end religious wars. You know, if the thought isn't blasphemous.

6. Have you ever done something others might fix embarrassing- but you did it on purpose? What was it? For example, I once went into a fancy resort hotel in sweat pants and asked where their outhouse was and if they served raccoon.

7. How do others describe you?

8. If you have a spouse/significant other, why do you think they chose and have stuck with you? (If you are single, choose a best friend or something).

9. What books are your favorite and why? Choose up to 5.

10. What blogs are your favorite? Again, choose up to 5.

11. What's something from your childhood that you wish kids these days had/could experience?

That's all folks!

I'm going to award a liebster to....

My 11 questions that I ask my blog nominee liebster award people to answer in their liebster post. Let me know when you post so I have the pleasure of reading it, you know, since I asked you these questions and was nice enough to give you a liebster award.

http://getoffmyroads.blogspot.com/?m=1. One of my best friend growing up, an awesome girl who hates flat landers as much as I do, and who is as much of a clutz and foodie and a I'd reader and nature nerd as I am.

http://heatherchristenaschmidt.com/. If she doesn't have 200 followers, she should. I like funny, honest women so I always read her blog.

http://cerebralmilkshake.wordpress.com/ another funny bizarre women. Why can't I find more people like this in real life?

http://yaknowstuff.blogspot.com/?m=1 found her in yeahwrite.me and she seems really sweet and likes to do art!

http://theborgblogger.blogspot.com/?m=1. I like her perspective and humor and she seems really nice.


  1. First, I linked you in to mine. Here's the update: http://notappropriate4.blogspot.com/2012/10/you-won-what-is-that-thing_17.html
    And then, I learned how much more we have in common. I was only 63 pounds in sixth grade, and from 4th to 6th grade I kicked the shit out of two boys that rode my bus constantly. Also, I love Santigold. And, I was legally blind -- would be totally blind now but I have had two corneal transplants. You always learn so much from these things.

  2. Also, as you know I am an English teacher, and neurotic, you may want to double check this once you're off your iphone. Some mistakes like 290 followers vs. 200 and bloggers vs. bloggess. Sorry, I can't help myself.

  3. Thanks for the shout out and congrats too. ;)
    My post will be up in the morning.

  4. Mucho Danke for the Liebster award!! I'll do all of the things outlined above before the day is over, which might be tomorrow afternoon.

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