disclaimer or something

A mummy-hand holding, (former) biker gang affiliating, hippie influenced semi crunchy granola mom's ramblings and reminisings on an off-kilter life

Sunday, November 17, 2013

whips and chains

So I was into pen pals as a teen (and even my very early 20s) and a pen pal lived in Hollywood, about an hour or so from my university. I had only been to LA maybe three times and never Hollywood, so I was in for visiting her. I hopped into my hoopdie (I don't know how to spell that..but my first car was certainly a hoopdie) and into the dark winding freeway system of L.A. my music crackling through my "stereo system", a walkman and one computer speaker balancing precariously in the passenger seat. My eclectic music tastes were in full swing that night; my rock and roll self was singing along to r&b (Alicia Keyes) and J-pop (Utada Hikaru)... I was quite a scene and wasn't even near Holly-weird yet!

I pulled up to some third world looking apartment (A year later and three apartment buildings in Hollywood later, i surmised all apartments there reeked of piss, booze, ramen, and despair) and went to meet my pen pal. Little did I know the plans for the night.....

I was naive. I was yet to dodge a bullet in a gang fight (true story) or see gothic mimes sodomise each other (yep true story) or watch a homeless man have convulsions on the sidewalk (I was unable to stop and help and still feel bad). Needless to say, I hadn't "discovered" Hollywood yet. So she decided we'd walk a few blocks to a club.

You think I would get scared away from clubs. After a Filipino stalker who found me at three clubs, and after walking into a Mexican strip club, and after babysitting my room mate who had taken extasy and elephant tranquilizers...yeah you would think I would say no to clubbing but I was open minded. Or stupid.

We end up in a goth club and I was like, hmm, a cultural experience. I have nothing against goths. It is all good.

I ordered some cheap drink (oddly they were just..drinks.. No "existential Martinis or coffin margaritas or anything) and kinda did my best to blend into a scene I didn't quite fit in to.

And then..the stage lights dimmed and...some zombie sex carnival ensured. They were dressed like a masquerade yet "dark and so gothic" and in barely there lingerie. With umm..prosthetic...sexy parts. I did my best to hide my shame and shock when the mime type goths stared to sodomize each other to the rhythm of industrial goth tunes.

I stood, aghast, rubbernecking because it was so God awful I had to look but wanted to look away. I couldn't avert my eyes.

And that's when I discovered gothic mine sodomy.

Needless to say, I didn't learn my Hollywood lesson but I did stay away from that club.


  1. Wow.
    Oh, and I had to look it up. According to Urban Dictionary, it's hoopty. But since it's a made-up word, you can probably spell it however you like.