disclaimer or something

A mummy-hand holding, (former) biker gang affiliating, hippie influenced semi crunchy granola mom's ramblings and reminisings on an off-kilter life

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Taking back what's mine

I am going to tell the therapist, " it's over between us, it's not you, it's me" and I will mean every word.

My son is lined up for an IEP for a hearing-loss-caused speech delay. I fought for months to get him in and now as the initial IEP approaches, I am removing him.

What what what?

Wait a minute, you're a teacher for Christ's sake!

You can't do that!

It is wrong and damaging!

For reasons I won't get into much (or else this post will become 100 pages long) I know what is best for my son and I also don't want an IEP....because..."this will go down on your permanent record". Let's just give an executive summary. I have a Master's in Education and ten years experience, and am choosing to help my son at home without an IEP. My aunt is a top-in-state language acquisition professional, another aunt works at a special needs pre-school, my best friend was a pre-school teacher as was I. Together, we can do it. And additionally, I do not want a P - 20 SLDS paperwork trail (the permanent record) used as preferential treatment or against him in the future. I know enough that the system exists that at the click of a button, it could do just that. I know because I managed those systems in a previous job.

I have a huge billboard-sized disclaimer here. I am a special ed, IEP advocate. I just am exercising free will and the like and making a decision for my child and my child alone.

I am ignoring all professional opinion and going with my gut.

It isn't easy. I have tortured myself in the wee hours of night going back and forth over this, Ive talked to family and friends, I have prayed about it and still feel some trepidation but....do I need to justify my actions? I'm doing it....because. And it ain't easy.

On a related note, just like I feel standardized tests don't give an accurate picture of a child, neither does the developmental assessment. Playing 20 questions paints a crappy picture of my child. Just because he doesn't refer to himself by name does not mean he is a "year behind" because it ignores the fact that he refers to himself as "I", a skill one or two years ahead. Just because he doesn't know boy from girl doesn't make him "behind" especially when, oops, I have yet to explicitly teach him about gender. I didn't know such an arbitrary skill labels him as "behind"

What about what he CAN do? He kicks a ball like a 5 year old, recognizes most of his letters, can count items to five, and can use my nook and wii console with Netflix better than some adults. He shares and shows compassion to all living things. He has a great sense of humor. But these aren't assessed.

I know my son has a speech delay, but he is anything but "behind" or less than.

(anyone have good suggestions on apps, websites, books, etc for my son to work with? I have one that spells 3 letter words, phonetically...kkk ah t = c a t cat and he loves it and even tries to sound out each phoneme.....perfect!)

(listen to about.....1:00-1:15 for the pertinent part of the video)


  1. Sometimes you have to go with your gut.

  2. As a parent, we do our best. It's hard but you know. Best of luck!