disclaimer or something

A mummy-hand holding, (former) biker gang affiliating, hippie influenced semi crunchy granola mom's ramblings and reminisings on an off-kilter life

Friday, September 7, 2012

when plants attack

I look like someone beat me up. I was attacked by a thorny rosebush, power drill, and a baby this week. Oh and a substitute phlebotomy person.

killer plant and leg o'shine
I have a nice huge scratch from the roses. I was trying to shut our possessed garage door when, in attempt to click in the code, I fell out of my shoe (don't ask. I'm the queen of clutz) and into a super thorny rose bush. I didn't feel much pain and so we drove to the street market 10 miles away and as I got out I was gushing blood. I took a pic post-op, hubby wiped off the blood with alcohol wipes and slathered enough neosporin on me to make me as reflective as a satellite, so if your tv went out last night, it was my leg. Sorry.

Then I don't have a pic but I was out in the garage, barefoot (cause why wear shoes in the garage? Carrying my son, when I grabbed the power drill and some duct tape. I came in and decided to exhibit my wacky sense of humor and look like some white trash armageddon chick, barefoot, baby, duct tape, power tools. As I went to brandish my tool (oh that sounds wrong) I stabbed my thigh with the drill bit. Ouch.

my ugly chin (yay for pink-white Irish skin!)
I circled where it is beginning to swell
and droop and get red(der).
Then today my son decided to head-butt me in the chin. It had barely swollen in the pic and it resembles something more umm private than a chin but I assure you it is my chin and you can see the beginning of the swell which I conveniently circled for you.

my green bruise from when my
vein tried to vacate my body
is fading, finally
Then I got a food allergy blood test and the phlebotomist (blogger does not know this word and my spelling prowess has weakened) was not..a phlebotomist. She was some kind of nursing assistant in optometry or something, they were short phlebotomists this week and I was her victim. I didn't feel much pain until the needle came out of my skin and MY VEIN ACCOMPANIED IT. I could feel this sluuuurp feeling as my vein attached to the needle and tried to leave my body and now I have a bruise. It is almost a week old so it is faded but it was a sickly creepy deep green.

And honest, I am NOT a hypochondriac but this month has just been full of medical oddities and the like. It's a Mayes family curse, as my mom was diagnosed with glaucoma this month, my grandma fell and laid on the floor bruised and worse, for 14 hours before someone found her, and my aunt has blood clots in her lungs and is in and out of the hospital. Argh.

1 comment:

  1. JC! Glad I'm not a female in your family right now! No offense.. but... wow! Hope your grandma is alright... and that your mom is getting early treatment. And that you've recovered from your various ailments...