disclaimer or something

A mummy-hand holding, (former) biker gang affiliating, hippie influenced semi crunchy granola mom's ramblings and reminisings on an off-kilter life

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

my homies poop here, and tan chest hair

I found a new blog to follow, and it inspired me to blog about the not so golden state. A lifelong native, I have some hatred towards it, and hubby says, "the grass is always greener on the other side" and I am like, yeah, cause they get rain and so summers are green!" Seriously, I had no concept that so much of the USA is green in summer...naturally. sure, Oregon is (the Western, populated half) cause it is a temperate rain forest, duh. But boy was I in a shock for it being green from Maine to Virginia, Missouri to Michigan, and probably other places I have yet to go. Anyways, whoa, off track there missy. I was reading a blog and wanted to write my own version except I could not have written it better...it is like she snuck into my head and read my mind. So check it out at heatherchristenaschmidt.com/2012/10/02/the-worst-part-about-california/ which I will attempt to turn into a real link when off my nook. The only thing she forgot? The graffiti. I have been to Gary In, NYC, Wash DC and nothing tops them but my part of the golden state. Not only are walls covered in a human version of dog pee (tagging), but trash cans. Sidewalks. Parking spots. Every sign. Flood basin creek things. Trees. Fences. Cars. Roofs. Gas pumps. And my favorite? The freaking toilet seat. They tag the freaking toilet seat, I guess to mark where their gang has the privilege to poop cause nothing says prime real estate for a gang turf war than a dingy, sticky floored, hope I don't catch something, convenience store bathroom's toilet seat.
–But alas I will be here for life. Why? Well it is not easy to move when you own property, and moving costs money and sucks. Add in some of hubby's in laws here. And the biggest part....? Hubby likes it here. I don't get it. He has traveled the world, lived in probably a dozen states and a handful of countries, and chose here. Why? Oh. The weather. He hates the cold, so snow is a no-go for him. He said if he ever had to go somewhere else, it'd be Texas. His dream is to live in Palm Springs and sit on the porch and get a bronze tan, complete with chest hair and gold chains. No joke. His dream is sun and heat all day every day. I tortured him enough making him live where we got actual winter, and he complained every day, and so that is done with. Back to trash strewn, hot, politically insane, criminal filled, toilet tagging la la land. But hey, visit here! Everyone else does.


  1. The thing is, you don't even know what you'd miss from your home until you moved away. There is something about the seasons though. They kind of mark a new pace in our lives. Though I do agree with your husband, I wouldn't mind being in the sun with my chest hair nice and tan. (Requires less maintenance.)You just look healthier- until you don't look healthier anymore you just look like an old raisin.

  2. Man, do I get tired of looking at brown hills for months at a time. We have a week or two of green during the year, and the rest of the time it's dried out. My husband and I went for a trip to Eugene, Oregon, a few weeks back. It was nuclear green ~everywhere.~