disclaimer or something

A mummy-hand holding, (former) biker gang affiliating, hippie influenced semi crunchy granola mom's ramblings and reminisings on an off-kilter life

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

New job jitters

I have a new job! I am responsible for directing the lives of the youth! No. You do not need to hide your children.

After 17 months of no job and basically no hope, I got a job offer. But not having worked for 17 months, not having taught since May 2010 I feel like I am entering the workforce for te first time. I have first day of school jitters. I know I am competent am awesome and bla bla but I'm anxious dammit.

I voiced a teeny bit of my apprehensions and questions in an online forum. BIG MISTAKE. Here I get to put on my big girl panties and I leaked. Figuratively. Apparently, us teacher folk are omniscient and perfect and while treated crappy, we are led to super human status.

So this post is to say, if you have a day of pre-work jitters, you are NORMAL. Okay?

But my jitters might verge on an anxiety disorder. Yeah it runs in the family so what?

I wanted to know when I started. Sure, I was told by HR, show up next Monday. They have like 40 schools so they don't know when I show up. I contact the school to no avail. First impressions are much too important, and I didn't want to be "that annoying gal that kept calling us" so I sought some advice. This meant, to the super kind forum folks, that I lacked common sense, problem solving, intellect, or stability. Dude, seriously?

So again it is ok to have questions and concerns.

But yeah then my mind starts going. Like a kid the week summer is ending, I am freaking. How will I get used to waking before dawn? How do I set an off-day alarm on y iPhone? What if it doesn't go off? What will traffic be like and will I get there on time? How much time do I give to drop my son off for his first week sniff sniff of full time day care? Who will be more of a wreck from the separation, me or him? What if he gets sick or goes feral? What I there's a wreck on the way there? What if my room key doesn't work? I suck at using keys! The contract said temporary leave replacement so do I lose my job when whoever comes back? I have had over a dozen jobs in under a dozen years, often I am rid of due to the seniority I lack and can't get, will it happen again? Will I get along with my co teacher? Cause I am a nice girl but if my experiences with college roommates are any indication of sharing with people... Crap will I suck l, having not taught for so long? How will the students trick the new ie teacher? Will the staff like me? How will I balance work, grading, meetings, half hour or so commute each way, family time, me time? Will I love my job? What kind of school culture will they be? Will I say something stupid? Will I dress wrong!

1 comment:

  1. Breathe.

    I'd e-mail you screen shots of how to set the alarm on the iPhone, but that top button is stuck on my phone. I set a series of alarms, sometimes, just to make sure.

    (Sorry - practical first)

    Yes, it's okay to have jitters, nervousness, anxiety, and most of all QUESTIONS! Get out of the forum, now, before they beat you down further. You don't need that. You ARE normal!!

    Sorry you found a bunch of insecure bozos who felt the need to make you feel bad about yourself.

    And most importantly - best for last - CONGRATULATIONS!!!! That's great news!! Hooray!! You'll do great! Enjoy yourself - that's the most important part!!