I have a new job! I am responsible for directing the lives of the youth! No. You do not need to hide your children.
After 17 months of no job and basically no hope, I got a job offer. But not having worked for 17 months, not having taught since May 2010 I feel like I am entering the workforce for te first time. I have first day of school jitters. I know I am competent am awesome and bla bla but I'm anxious dammit.
I voiced a teeny bit of my apprehensions and questions in an online forum. BIG MISTAKE. Here I get to put on my big girl panties and I leaked. Figuratively. Apparently, us teacher folk are omniscient and perfect and while treated crappy, we are led to super human status.
So this post is to say, if you have a day of pre-work jitters, you are NORMAL. Okay?
But my jitters might verge on an anxiety disorder. Yeah it runs in the family so what?
I wanted to know when I started. Sure, I was told by HR, show up next Monday. They have like 40 schools so they don't know when I show up. I contact the school to no avail. First impressions are much too important, and I didn't want to be "that annoying gal that kept calling us" so I sought some advice. This meant, to the super kind forum folks, that I lacked common sense, problem solving, intellect, or stability. Dude, seriously?
So again it is ok to have questions and concerns.
But yeah then my mind starts going. Like a kid the week summer is ending, I am freaking. How will I get used to waking before dawn? How do I set an off-day alarm on y iPhone? What if it doesn't go off? What will traffic be like and will I get there on time? How much time do I give to drop my son off for his first week sniff sniff of full time day care? Who will be more of a wreck from the separation, me or him? What if he gets sick or goes feral? What I there's a wreck on the way there? What if my room key doesn't work? I suck at using keys! The contract said temporary leave replacement so do I lose my job when whoever comes back? I have had over a dozen jobs in under a dozen years, often I am rid of due to the seniority I lack and can't get, will it happen again? Will I get along with my co teacher? Cause I am a nice girl but if my experiences with college roommates are any indication of sharing with people... Crap will I suck l, having not taught for so long? How will the students trick the new ie teacher? Will the staff like me? How will I balance work, grading, meetings, half hour or so commute each way, family time, me time? Will I love my job? What kind of school culture will they be? Will I say something stupid? Will I dress wrong!