Finding out

This week was my ultrasound. With my son, I never wanted to know the gender and this time, the scientist hidden deep inside said, let's see how it is to find out!

The week sped by surprisingly fast, but I prepped myself for the "surprise". I am a weirdo and so I said, if it is a girl, no pink, no tutus, no diva or princess or slutty club wear on my baby. When she is old enough to request that mind driveline, not very empowering over-gendered stuff, she can. So I took my mom "browsing" to point out not what clothes horrified me but those which were acceptable. Dark blue polka dots, turquoise overalls, and the like. I HAD to take her "browsing" because ever since I got pregnant, all my female relatives have turned into these weird squealing creatures (that sound like those rabbit call whistles hunters use) and say "oh we can dress her up!" Like I am giving birth to a mindless doll.

I HAD to take my mom browsing because I HAD to prove a point, to just one female relative since no others were around to "teach". One relative said, when I told her, "if it is a girl and you get pink/tutu/princes/slutty it goes to Goodwill" (see, I am charitable and kind) she responded , telling me I was actually being cruel and in humane to my baby by making her not feminine. I wanted to go on a tirade of how feminine is anything but pink princess...feminine is like Joan of Arc or Sarah Palin or some other powerful strong woman who gasp doesn't wear tutus or flannels and combat boots and is feminine and....I decided to just shut up.

So then I find out my father in law, who is visiting from out of state, had to reschedule his flight. That meant my mom, and both in laws were in town. While I dreaded revealing the gender (as you can tell I'm not the super cheerful type, so the gender hype was not desirable) I figured, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I was going to have hubby come in for the ultrasound and then afterwards, walk into the waiting room, image in hand, and uncharacteristically squeal, "it's a....".

Then fate either turned against me or went my way and no one could make it to my ultrasound. So I went in alone and waited.

It. Took. Forever. With my son, the screen was turned so I saw everything in real time (except for the moment the tech swiveled the screen away to check genitalia) but this time I was left in the dark, literally. A half hour of just laying there dead still. Finally the tech said, well first she said, "use the restroom your bladder is so full" to which I gladly obliged, and she printed out some images. I returned ready for "it's a..." And she asked me to get on the bed again and swiveled the screen and showed me te head. And neck. And spine. You get the idea. All the way to toes. Then she gave a funny look and said "oh baby is in a funny position buuuut" and handed me an image. It showed an arrow at a blob and said, "boy".

I teared up. A boy!

I left and went to hubby and said "here, pictures of little penises". We called family and la de da.

However, since then, it is like I don't believe it. Like some psychic said "boy", or I dreamed it or something. With my son, I knew nothing till birth so it was different. I am happy but finding out the gender is surreal. And while I teared up finding out. it seems a little like a let down. Not finding out the entire time is my tested and true preferred method but hey, I had to test the theory.

So boy #2 here we come!