I hate book-endings. And then some off topic ramblings that seem really important

Brevity sucks, and I tried to make this post brief. Fail. I read that book by Stephen King, 11/16/63 (or some date, I mean it isn't a random date but the date JFK died, and may he RIP but history dates are lame) and Agorafabulous by Sara Benincasa this week. Yep. Two books. One week. Like a thousand pages.


 I realize I HATE book-endings. I get so absorbed in a book (IF it is a good book) that when it ends, I seriously mourn. Not a broke-up-with-my-boyfriend, my-cat-died mourning, but like when you have to go back to work after vacation, or a relative has to fly home, or your favorite completely ratted out skirt must be retired after ten years. That kind of mourning. I finished Agorafabulous and wanted more. I had many questions to ask. I'd engaged in a conversation with the author in my head, as if she were real. I mean, she is, but not when she is just in my head. And now she is gone and didn't answer my questions. Pooh.

Why is it all my new fav' authros have only one book out? I need them to be all Danielle-Steel-style-thousands-of-books authors. And yes, King has that many books but I've only liked two of his books, so there. But with reading Laurie Notaro (read all her books), Jen Lancester (read all her books), Jenny Lawson (1 book dammit) and Sara Benincasa (1 book dammit)...I have new literary bffs in my head and an empty sad nook next to my mourning self.

 And I also have inspiration for more blogging. I want to make it into a book but I also want to become an educational change agent, some famous big whig (in hoity toity Stanford-esque crowds, but hey, I'm not one for fascinating Nascar crowds...that was so...college days) and to make six figures and be a well respected intellectual elitist. Those people, the "man" type people, who run the world, and especially people that teach and supervise children, are supposed to be pious nuns or something. They can't be people that blog about Tiffany Takesalot (of money not...you fowl person), dead rattlesnakes in the freezer, the evils of college, and crazy family. So it....sucks... I need advice. Again, someone running for school board and trying to run a school (you know, if there were jobs) can't talk about Tiffany-rattlesnake-prozac-parties. Nope. But my wacky tiffany-rattlesnake-prozac-party self is, well, me, but so is that academic self that throws out words like "disenfranchised" "technocratic liberal" "social efficiency model of eugenics" (<--which I am against), "psychometrics" "interdisciplinary innovation" and "prescribed automaton" and pushes to revolutionize the system that is education.

 Sigh.

unemployed but no, I won't do that no no I won't do that

I think anyone rreading my blog or who knows me knows I have been unemployed for 14 MONTHS so I am getting a wee bit snarky about it. I was thinking I must smell funny and just no one has had the heart to tell me, except that I have only had 5 interviews out of over 500 job apps so I can't smell on paper or via an emailed application. But what the f*ck gives?
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° So I applied to over 50 jobs in the Midwest, not where I live, and got an interview!yes an interview! So I drove over an hour there and had a 5 hour interview. Well really the interview itself was super brief, most of the 5 hours were spent with me typing a 8 page response to some rubrics and case studies and stuff. The interview I probably bombed because it was so....weird. The interview panel was dressed down, like they were at the grocery store while I was stuffed into a black hot suit in 100 degree weather, since it was an administrative position (has to look " in charge") and going in a bikini wasn't optional. So then the questions were funky. They were "explain a time when at work you didn't feel you got the recognition you deserved. Explain a time when you struggled with a deadline. Explain a time...." And I felt like an idiot. I am usually rapid fire speaking,like an auctioneer ,at an interview and suddenly it was like I caught stupid. Umm, hm...(pause) let me think (pause..search ten years of work experience in seconds) umm..oh! Well this one time...(no not at band camp). The panel gave interview stink eye, like, you have to have an answer and never isn't the answer ,so hurry up you idiot.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°So I didn't get the job. Not even a courtesy call, email, or letter ,youk now, "thanks for showing up and wearing a hot dark suit in blazing heat when our a/c wasn't working. Thanks for your interview and you didn't make the cut because you are dumb. And your essay questions show you care about children so obviously you don't fit in. Besides, when we checked your resume and references,flames shot out and a demonic ghost said to not hire you. So here is your official letter of rejection .f*ck you.". Nope
 °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°So what do I mean about caring about children? Well, while I need a job, I am glad I wasn't hired. Like that Meatloaf song, edited for my situation , I'd do anything for a job but I won't do that no no no I won't do that. So..ok...would you send your child to a school that.. 1. Does not have recess. For your kindergartner. ( well, kinder through 6th grade), not even a break where kids can run around or socialize or sit and zone out. 2. For a technology centered school, they had a computer lab with old desktop pcs. That is it for technology and you would come in once a week to do test prep on the computer. 3. They had lunch of course but only 30 no...20 minutes. With no recess, they would just sit and eat. In assigned seats. With only the kids in their class, so if you wanted to eat with your friend in the other 5th grade class, too bad, they had a separate lunch periods? 4 OR WHATEVER SINCE MY NOOK IS ONLY LETTING ME SEE THE LINE I AM TYPING the students never got rewarded for good stuff .sure, you need intrinsic value to want to do well. But sometimes you really need a hello kitty eraser to motivate you to turn in your damned homework. And with no recess, imagine how the super hyper misbehaving kids would be. Hello, sometimes even the teacher needs the kid to get a "bribe" to be good. If little Billy can stop cursing the teacher out, slapping girl's behinds, and throwing spit wads, because he gets a stickers for having a good day ,give him the damned sticker already .that way the teacher can go home and not empty a bottle of vodka to unwind. 5. I believe in academics and I am always blabbing about more rigor and academics in school...heck I am writing a book about it (been om hiatus for 4 months, so what). But academics and rigor needs balance and options and ways to help all learners and encourage learning ,blablabla .so when I inquired about music or art programs ,I was told they did not have them. Ok sure, my state is like that, they cannot afford an elementary art teacher but on those rare easy days, or for Lincoln's birthday or whatever, you make a macaroni Lincoln or you fingerpaint a pretty picture ,right? Sorry, no .at this school even that was seen as non academic and thus not allowed ever.